3 Ways to Reignite Passion in Your Long-term Relationship


No one likes feeling mediocre. No one. We sure as hell don’t want to feel that way in our relationship. However, in many long term relationships the complacency struggle is all too real, and we need to nip it in the bud real quick.

Here are 3 of my tried-and-true ways to reignite passion in that long-term relationship of yours.

Remind Your Partner That They Still Got It

Stare a little too long when they’ve just gotten out of the shower and are wrapped in a towel. Send them a text midday telling them how good they look or how you’ve been thinking about them all morning. Write them a sweet note and hide it in their backpack. The bottom line: show interest and desire for them. Cue Tove Love’s Talking Body.


Plan a Monthly Date Night

My boyfriend and I have always acknowledged our “month-a-versary,” the day of the month that we became official (it’s the 4th of the month, btw). We try to do something special on that day or near that day each month. I personally love bucket lists and how they can help guide you in choosing something to do when you’re bored or unsure of plans.

Wherever you live, create your own couple’s bucket list of things you both want to do together – from eating at a new restaurant, going to a concert, taking a hike, learning how to make pottery –  see how diverse you can make the list! Each month take turns planning a special date from your bucket list. I usually like to wait to tell my boyfriend what we’re going to do – it increases the anticipation factor, and it will naturally help you experience your city in a really fun way.


Spend Time Apart

When you first start dating someone, It’s so easy to become consumed by them. Believe me, I’ve been there. When we were long-distance, I would  text my boyfriend literally at every possible free moment I had in my day. I started to like what he liked, eat like him, prioritize his plans, and was soo happy about it.

Over time, though, I missed parts of my old life, like regularly  having an all-day girl’s brunch ending with a serious Scandal debate about who Olivia belongs with – Jake or Fitz – or indulging in a “me” day complete with a mani/pedi, shopping, and a solo lunch date at my favorite spot. I needed to find a new balance. I got some of my individuality back by doing things for myself and without him.

Join a group fitness studio, plan a book club, attend networking events to further your career – do whatever you want to do. An additional benefit to spending time apart from your SO is that it gives you a chance to miss them. Not to mention it gives you something new and interesting to talk about. Seriously, try it.

You can do soo many things to liven up your relationship – these 3 tips have been helpful to me in my own. I would love to hear your own tips and strategies for keepin’ the passion alive and well. Share with us in the comments below.

  • Kathy

    Love it, never stop dating your husband/wife, one day after children are grown, it’s back to us and we’ve still have a lot of living to do together ?

    • Yes! It’s so important to take a step back and remember what you love and appreciate about your partner and to frequently tell them.